Saved or Damned?
by XSpaderX
Summary: Is there a point that you become beyond saving? When 16 year old Samantha Brown thinks that there is no hope for her left in the world, a wonderful man known as the Doctor comes into her life to show her that there is. Read this story to jump right into the TARDIS with the Doctor and his newest companion.
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Doctor (sadly..) or the ideas that come from the show (i.e. the TARDIS and the was it travels) **

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_Is there a point that you become beyond saving?_

This is the question that haunted the young girl as she sat alone in her room. Crying silently to herself, she looked down at a letter, but not just a letter. The letter. It was the letter that would explain everything. The letter that would apologize for everything she had done. All the people she had angered. All the people she hadn't been good enough for. Even all the people who had done nothing for her.

It was her suicide letter.

The 16 year old folded the letter in perfect fourths, sniffling and wiping her eyes to clear her vision. Looking at the mascara streak across her hand, she stood up and reached out her hand to set the letter on her cluttered dresser. Looking up, she stared at her reflection on the mirror that hung above the dresser on the wall. In the dim light she could still make out every detail of herself. Her blonde hair was ratted from running her hands through it, mascara and eyeliner was smeared across her face. She looked up and down the body she had been starving for months, trying to be perfect. Perfect like all the other girls. Looking back up, she met the gaze of her own brown eyes and tears began to fall quicker. How could a girl who had everything end up like this?

Wiping her nose across her sleeve, she stepped back from the mirror, turning toward the double doors that enclosed her closet. She sniffled again, stepping to the doors and closing her eyes. Tonight was the night. Tonight she would finally end the pain.

With a creak, the girl opened the door on the right. Her tears had stopped falling as she reached up and removed the shoebox from the top shelf. Carrying it to her bed, she heard footsteps outside her door. Her chest clenched as she froze, praying that the sound of footsteps would carry on down the hall. Straining her ears and leaning forward, she heard the steps fade and her brother's door close with a click. He must have been up for a late night bathroom break.

Wiping her nose with her sleeve again, she sat down on the floor, leaning back on the side of her bed. She shrugged her arms out of her favorite hoodie and tossed it up on her bed. She set the box between her legs on the wooden floor, pulling the lid off and setting it next to herself. Reaching into the box, she pulled out a shining blade. This was her blade she used to make her very first cut on her arm, so how fitting it would make her last. She clenched her teeth and placed the blade to her wrist. She whispered for God to please forgive her, and she dug the blade in.

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**Please review and give feedback! The next (and longer) part will be up soon!**


	2. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Doctor or the TARDIS.**

**Thanks to all who are reading! Leave a review on what you think! More will be coming soon!**

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_Some days you just get a feeling._

Today was one of those days for the Doctor. The 945 year old Time Lord paced back in forth in the TARDIS. The clicks of his shoes against the metal floor resonated throughout the vast control room of his beloved time machine. He had this feeling that he needed to be somewhere, but why? Why did he need to get to a regular house in a regular neighborhood in 2013? Nothing special about this day in that year. It was rare that he got this flustered over a simple _feeling._

But he had to go.

Ruffling his shaggy brown hair, the Doctor turned quickly on his toes and went to the consol. Working quickly with the skill he had acquired over the many hundreds of years. The TARDIS lurched and the Time Lord smiled, speaking the word Allons-y to himself as he enjoyed piloting the familiar machine that he had been with for many long years.

Within a few short minutes, the Doctor had landed. He knew the relative area he had landed in but not the exact location. He enjoyed a little surprise with every trip he took. The TARDIS had never failed to put him exactly where he needed to be, when he needed to be there.

Walking quickly to the door and adjusting his trench coat on his shoulders, he stopped with his hand on the handle. This was the moment he loved. The moment he lived for. It was the moment of the unknown. He knew so much, but at this moment, he knew nothing about what was on the other side of the door. He took one deep breath, a small smile dancing on his lips, and pulled open the door.

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Blood stained the floor where the girl sat, looking down at what she had done. Three deep, parallel cuts stretched across her left wrist and a blood covered blade in her right. She let out a sigh as she dropped the blade. She was feeling light headed as her arm bled. The room began to spin as she gave into the unrelenting dizzyness, and right before her vision went black and she passed out, she heard a strange sound. It didn't strike her as strange, for she could no longer focus on anything but the sweet relief the darkness was bringing.

Samantha 'Sam' Brown had grown up with a perfect childhood. She got almost everything she wanted, her parents were still together, she lived in a large house, and she had great friends. But as she had entered high school, things had changed, and not for the better. And it wasn't something seen easily.

Sam still had the same great life, none of that changed. Something went wrong, and it was in her very own mind.

She slowly began to withdraw from people, avoiding almost everyone except when it was absolutely necessary to socialize. No one noticed the change though. By the beginning of her freshman year, she had begun self-harming. Over the next year and a half, it became worse and worse. She became suicidal and saw no point to living. She was bullied by many of her classmates, her family was hard on her, and she started hating herself. It was only a matter of time until she was bound to take her own life. Tonight was that night.

As the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, he looked directly up. Making a mental note that he was indoors, he pulled the door closed behind himself. Looking around the room, he decided that he was most likely in a teenage girl's room, for the walls were painted pink, a little girl pink, but had band movie posters hung all over the walls, almost blocking out the pink. The Doctor glanced at the clock on the nightstand, seeing that it was 2:35 in the morning. The room was barely lit by the tiny blue lamp on the nightstand, next to the clock. _Why isn't there someone asleep in the bed? _ The Doctor thought to himself, looking at the empty but ruffled bed. While he was looking at the bed, he noticed a small drop of blood on the floor. He cocked his head to the side, slowly walking around to the other side of the bed. Still looking at the drop of blood, he didn't see the girl slouched over leaned half against the bed right away. Out of habit, he reached for his sonic screwdriver, but froze.

He saw more blood.

The Doctor raced the rest of the way around the queen sized bed and gasped when he saw the girl with the bloody wrist.

"Oh no. Oh no no no no no." The Doctor repeated quickly and quietly to himself as he crouched in front of her in the ever growing puddle of blood. He knew he needed to stop the bleeding if she was still alive. Reaching out his hand, the Doctor expertly placed two fingers on the side of her neck, closing his eyes and praying that she still had a pulse. Seconds drug by like an hour until he felt a faint movement beneath his finger. He let out his breath that he didn't know he'd been holding. His relief was short lived because he then realized that he needed to get her medical help immediately. Jumping to his feet, the Doctor gently placed his hands under her and lifted her up, cradling the teenager like a small child to his chest. Slowly and carefully he carried the blonde girl to the TARDIS, turning and backing through the doors, hoping he could help her in time to save her life.

The first thing she felt was the sting of her wrist. _Damn. I'm still alive._ She thought immediately. Samantha cracked open one eye only to squeeze it back shut, blinded by the bright, white light shining down on her. Funny, she didn't remember leaving her bright light on in her room. Groaning, she went to roll over. A strange feeling like someone was watching her hit her, and panic shot through her body. _Did Mom or Dad come in to wake me up? Are they standing over me now, realizing what I tried to do? _Both her eyes shot open and she bolted upright, only to be hit with a wave of dizziness. Closing her eyes, she rubbed her fists into her eyes to clear the blurriness that she always got upon waking up. As she did so, she thought of a way to explain what had happened to her parents.

Sitting across the room was the Doctor. He had been keeping watch over her all night in the safest place in the Universe; the TARDIS control room. When she stirred, he stood up and quietly walked over to her bedside. He had drug a small bed into this room so he could be sure the girl was alright as he piloted the time machine. He looked very tired, for he hadn't slept in a while. The girl had been asleep for two full days and nights. He had stayed up through both to be sure nothing was going wrong. She was his responsibility now. But the sleepless nights had taken a toll on him. He was no longer wearing his signature brown trench coat and his hair had lost its shape, falling down into his face only to be quickly brushed aside by his hand. His pin stripped suit was unbuttoned and his tie was loosened and hanging limply around his neck. The poor Time Lord had not taken care of himself in days to be sure the girl he found was alright.

At first he thought that something had happened to her, something someone else had done. But the cuts on her wrist that he had stitched and bandaged told a different story. After pacing back and forth beside the blonde's sleeping body, he had come to the quick conclusion that it was a suicide attempt, an attempt that he had stopped. And as with all suicide attempts, when the person as stopped, it was expected that they would be mad at whoever foiled their plan.

And it looked like he would take the blame on this one.

Sam dropped her arms from rubbing her eyes and opened them again, this time slowly as to adjust to the light. She saw a figure walking standing at the foot of the bed and she opened her mouth to explain to whatever family member had found her that it wasn't what it looked like when she realized she wasn't in her room.

And that wasn't a member of her family.

Sam pushed backward against the headboard of the bed and said, "Who the _hell _are you and where am I?" What started as slowly spoken words quickly became loud screaming at the man standing at the foot of the bed.

This was the response he had expected from a girl trying to kill herself only to end up in a strange place with a strange man. He sighed and spoke calmly "I am the Doctor, you're in the TARDIS, and I just saved your life."

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**Enjoy another cliff hanger, a smaller one, but a hanger all the same! **


	3. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I sadly still do not own the Doctor or the TARDIS. I do, in fact, though own my own sonic screwdriver. But I will get to work on owning the rest. **

**Thank you for reading! I hope you are enjoying my first Doctor Who FanFic, because I sure am. Keep reading as I add chapters. I promise quality and quantity in each will improve as I warm up to writing with these characters. **

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Chapter Two

"What the hell does that mean?!" Samantha yelled, leaping off the bed and onto the cold, metal mesh floor of the TARDIS control room. Sam was confused, angry, and a slight bit relieved at the same time. But first she needed to know who this man in front of her claimed to be.

"That means that I am the man that saved your life and you should be grateful." The Time Lord stated, reaching down and picking up a pile of clothes. A white tank top and plaid button down shirt were folded on top of a pair of bedazzled jeans. "Here, change out of those pajamas. You've been in them for two days." The Doctor held out the pile of clothes that Sam snatched out of his had before taking a step away from him. The glare that this girl was giving him would have killed him if looks could kill…and if Time Lords couldn't regenerate.

"The nearest bathroom is through that doorway, first door on the left." The Doctor directed, leaning back on the railing behind him. Sam took a few steps backward, before turning and walking through the doorway and out of sight. He sighed, running a hand through his already tousled hair and yawned. He needed to calm the girl and then get some rest. _Why do I always pick the challenging ones? _ He though as he sank down to the floor, his head bowed between his knees. Yawning once more, the Doctor leaned his head back on the railing, letting his legs fall flat, and without meaning to, drifted off to sleep.

Sam opened the bathroom door and slammed it shut behind her. Making sure the lock clicked into the 'locked' position before she turned her back on the door, she sank to the floor, her back against the door, and started to cry. Why had this man saved her? How did he find her? What did 'The Doctor' stand for? All these questions kept running though her head. Sam slammed her head back on the door and screamed out a single word that explained it all. "Why?!" Standing up, she looked in the mirror. Seeing her reflection was not a happy experience for her. When she saw herself, she instantly picked out her flaws; a too big nose, a high forehead, a not perfect smile, an awkward face shape, not large enough boobs or butt, not a perfectly flat stomach, and the list went on and on. Stripping her oversized PJ tee-shirt over her head and throwing it on the ground, she picked up the perfectly folded white tank top. Shaking it out, she held it up, looking at the shirt. It was her size, how 'the Doctor' knew that, she would probably never know. The rest of the clothes looked like her size as well.

After pulling on the clothes, Sam looked in the mirror. "Not as bad as I thought." She said to herself, looking up and down the pink, red, and white plaid shirt she decided to leave unbuttoned and tie up in the middle. The long, thin sleeves worked perfectly to cover the scars on her arms. Now that her body looked decent, she looked to her face. "Oh God." She said, seeing the remains of her smeared across her cheeks. Her previously straightened hair was frizzing up in knots all over the place. The sight of all of this almost made her start crying again. "Please please…" She trailed off, opening the drawer next to the sink. Opening it up, she found some eye liner, mascara, eye shadow, and carious other types of makeup. "Yes!" She exclaimed, leaping up in the air. She was hoping that this Doctor kept makeup in supply as well as clothes. She quickly put on some eyeliner and mascara, pleased with the way it make her eyes look a bit bigger and her eyelashes a lot longer and fuller. Placing the familiar feeling tubes back in the drawer, she looked through the rest of the drawers and cupboards and placing what she needed on the large counter space. Smiling for the first time in a while, she plugged in a straightener and a blow dryer and got to work on her hair.

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Stepping out from the bathroom, Sam felt a bit better. She was calmer and a bit more put together than before. Pausing in the odd hallway, she had to look back and forth a time or two to remember which way she had come from. Sam walked back into the control room and looked around this time. The room had a vastly tall ceiling and strange arches coming up from the ground, like yellow-brown bare trees. The thing in the center was the strangest part. It had an assortment of screens, levers and buttons, things she did not recognize as anything she'd ever seen before. Circling it, she marveled at how strangely beautiful it was. Caught up in looking around, she almost didn't see the man sitting on the ground, asleep. She sucked in her breath as she almost fell over him.

Looking down at the man who referred to himself as the Doctor, she studied his face. He had shaggy brown hair that seemed like it needed some attention desperately. He had bags under his eyes and looked overall worn out, as if he hadn't slept in days. Sam leaned down reached out her arm to wake him, but paused an inch from touching his shoulder. _Why would I wake the man who kidnapped me out of my room? _She thought to herself. A look of disgust crossed her face as she stood back up and took a step back. Leaving this strange, alien looking building was the only thought that crossed her mind when she stopped for a moment to think.

Doing a full 360, surveying the room, she noticed that the metal mesh flooring stretched out in a sort of walkway toward a door. The door looked like it belonged on an old police box of some sort, but judging from all that had already happened in the day, she wasn't going to give it a second thought. As quietly as she could, Sam walked across the metal floor, a slight feeling of cold piercing though her socks and touching her feet. The air was a comfortable temperature, so why the floor was cold was beyond her, and she didn't let that thought stay in her head long. It wasn't important to her escape mission at the moment.

Upon reaching the doors, Sam stopped before she reached for the handle. How long had she been gone for? Was anyone looking for her? How was she going to explain all this? Thoughts crowded her head quickly as she looked down at her wrist. There was a sterile looking white bandage wrapped from the palm of her hand up to the middle of her forearm, covering the stinging slashes in her wrist from her failed suicide attempt. With a sigh and a shake of her head to clear out all the thoughts that occupied it, she looked at the blue doors. Placing her hand on the cool handle, Sam gave it a turn and slowly pulled open the door. Nothing in the universe would prepare her for what she found on the other side.

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_Her white smile glistened in the sunlight as she smiled up at him, her familiar golden hair whipping around her face in the warm, ocean air. "What's wrong? Scared?" Rose mocked, lightly pushing him. She looked as beautiful as ever in the 1950's one piece swimming suit. She loved going back to times gone by for her beloved planet Earth. Seeing how people use to live was a thrill to her. Placing her hands on her perfect hips, Rose gave the Doctor a grin, daring him._

"_I'm not scared! I just don't want to get wet!" He said, teasing her right back. Looking out at the ocean, it looked cold and so far down from all the way up on the cliff face. A gust of wind blew warm California air toward the Doctor and his beautiful companion. He glanced down, looking over the probably 25 foot cliff. It was vertical, making a perfect right angle with the water below. The water was deep and seemed to be rock-less, a perfect place for cliff diving. The Doctor looked at Rose as she laughed at his response._

_Rose flashed a bright, white smile at him, "That's such a lame excuse. I thought a man that has lived for so many centuries would at least have a good comeback! It's not like there are sharks circling below or sharp rocks like in the movies. Stop being such a girl!" She joked. They had come to this spot to cliff dive, and now her Time Lord lover was chickening out._

"_Well…" The Doctor said, looking up and trying to think of a valid reason why he couldn't jump as quick as he could. "I wanted you to go first. After all, I believe they say 'ladies first' here on Earth!" He said, a wide smile quickly growing on his face. He bolted toward Rose, scooping her up like a baby. She let out a scream and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and buried her face into his bare chest. _

"_You wouldn't dareee!" She screamed as the Doctor cackled with laughter, leaping off the cliff with her in his arms. The two plunged downward, one screaming and the other laughing. When the Doctor and Rose hit the cool water, he let go of her, bubbles still exiting his mouth in laughter. As he went to swim up, he must've been too close to the cliff face, for he slammed his head on something hard. The hit dazed him and he sucked in water. Coughing underwater, the Doctor quickly got tunnel vision. Rose's face suddenly entered his blurred underwater vision as she reached out and grabbed him, pulling his head up into the air. Instantly, he began coughing up water, the liquid seemed to be everywhere inside him. Not noticing that Rose had been slowly pulling him to shore, his knee hit the sand on the beach and the Doctor instantly bent over, hacking up water onto the beach. _

"_Doctor!" He heard a voice yelling, while shaking his shoulder. Must be Rose, he thought while finally taking normal breaths again._

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"Doctor!" The Time Lord was jolted awake, greeted by the face of the girl right in front of him. The hand shaking his shoulder had been Sam, while he was dreaming. Wish a sigh, he looked up at her as she baked away and stood above him, her arms crossed with a thoroughly confused look on her face.

"What in the name of God is outside that door?" She yelled, pointing vigorously with her bandaged arm at the TARDIS door. "And who _are_ you? What is this place!?" She gestured all around. She looked confused and scared, not a good combination. With a sigh, the Doctor slowly stood up, stretching his back as he did so.

"This is all very…complicated." The Doctor slowly started. "First of all, I want you to know you are safe here with me. There is no danger to you." He could see a slight relief cross her face, but quickly leave as she questioned him in her mind. He sighed again. "This will take a bit of explaining." He said, taking a few steps toward a staircase across the TARDIS floor. "Come with me, we may as well go to the library and sit somewhere confortable. Follow me." With that, he turned on his toes and walked swiftly toward the stairs. Sam stood still for a moment, but curiosity quickly got the better of her, and she jogged to catch up with the strange man.

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"So, basically, aliens are real, we're floating though space in a police box that is bigger on the inside, you're an alien who's the last of his kind, and you can travel in time?" Sam said, looking overwhelmed, hugging her knees to her chest in the red armchair across from the Doctor. The book filled walls of the library extended up a hundred feet or more in the air. The floor space alone was massive. The place seemed to be endless, which, for all she knew, was true.

"Well, to put it simply, yes." The Doctor said, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back in his identical armchair.

"And I'm supposed to just, believe that? It seems way too sci-fi for me to believe." She said, rubbing her fists into her eyes. "And you just 'got a feeling' and came to save my life like that?" She said, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Well, yes." He said, tilting his head a bit on the 'well'. Before the girl, Sam – he had learned her name now, spoke again, he cut her off, leaping out of his chair and to his feet. He was dressed in his familiar brown trench coat, pinstriped suit and tie, and his hair had been at least washed and dried. He looked much better than he had a few hours ago. "I can prove it to you. Give me a time, place, anywhere, and I can take you to it."

Sam slowly stood, thinking the answer though for a moment. "How about we go to the future. Anytime you want, anywhere. Surprise me." Her hands flew to her hips, a typical teenage girl pose.

A large grin crossed the Doctor's face. "I have just the place." He then turned and took off for the control room. Sam rolled her eyes and ran after the mad man in his little box.

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**Please leave a review on what you thought! Feedback is much appreciated! Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: Still, I do not own the ideas from Doctor Who, or the Doctor.**

**Just a note, the planet that I describe in the story was mentioned in the show before. Almost no information was given on it, other than what the doctor ways before they arrive. This was an interesting chapter to write because I had to go from my imagination to create the image of the planet that I saw in my head when I read the very, tiny discription that there was of this planet. **

**I hope y'all enjoy! I'm starting to warm op to the characters ad it is much easier to write them now. **

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Chapter Three

Samantha Brown stood, leaning back against the railing that circled the floor to the control room of the TARDIS. She slowly shook her head back and forth, still not believing what she was seeing before her. This strange man smiled to himself as he circled the strange contraption in the middle of the room that he had told her flew the time machine. The Doctor flipped levers, hit buttons, turned knobs, and did a whole assortment of things that Sam could not follow, let alone understand. The Time Lord's fingers, hands, and an occasion foot flew expertly across the console until he pulled down a final lever, flashing a wide smile, looking up at the center piece of the TARDS. He let out a breath, sounding excited as he looked over at Sam.

Walking to Sam, the Doctor smiled, looking pleased with himself. "Well," He started, tilting his head slightly back and toward the door, running a hand quickly back through it. "I decided last minute that going to the future would be convincing to you that I am who I say I am, but taking you to a different planet would be much more convincing." Smiling and turning toward the door, he held out an upturned hand toward her, gesturing for her to take it and walk with him to the unknown.

Sam knew what he wanted with the upturned hand, but she was not about to hold the hand of some man she had just met. She didn't do well with physical contact of any kind. She flipped her blonde hair once and shoved past his hand, walking defiantly toward the door. "If we are where you say we are, which I doubt-" She began stopping at the door, her back leaned against the blue wood doors. "-where exactly is it?"

Grinning and walking to the control panel yet again, he flipped a few more switches. "This is the planet Florana-" He paused for a moment, looking around the center console at Sam, hoping for a reaction. When he saw none, just her impassive face, he flipped a final switch, talking as he walked swiftly to stand in front of her. "-one of the most beautiful planets in the Universe. It has land carpeted by perfumed flowers, seas of warm milk and sand as soft as swan's down. But enough talk, let's see for ourselves!" With that, the Doctor slipped past the baffled looking girl and pushed the doors of the TARDIS open.

The Doctor held the door open for Sam so she could take her first glance upon the new world that lay before her. With widening eyes, the blonde girl gazed out at what was outside the doors of the TARDIS.

It seemed like something you would see in a dream. The ground was covered in flowers of all different colors. Every color Sam had ever seen. Her mouth dropped open as she looked up into a sky that was colored pink, just like in the fairy tales. Slowly, Sam placed a foot on the ground, as if testing to see if it was real. The Doctor stood, leaning against the doorway with a grin dancing upon his lips. He knew that he could get a smile out of a girl who thought she could never smile again. Slowly stepping out of the TARDIS, the Doctor leaned down with grace and plucked a turquoise flower. It was nothing like Sam had ever seen before on Earth.

"For you." The Doctor said, bowing down and holding it out. A large smile was plastered to his face. He rarely had a day to show someone around the Universe ever since Rose left.

Sam grasped the flower lightly by the bottom of the bright green stem. She lifted the flower to her nose, sniffing for a scent. Her eyebrows bunched together and the Doctor answered the question she was about to ask.

"Only the creatures native to this planet can smell them. They are completely odorless to us." Sam let go of the flower, watching it fall downward with a straight face. She glanced out toward what seemed to be an ocean, though it looked white, like milk. The Doctor had said something about milk on the TARDIS, but she wasn't paying much attention. She never dreamed that this would be a real possibility. She began to take a step toward the 'ocean' when the Doctor shot out a hand and grabbed her right arm, holding her back.

Jerking her arm free, the Doctor said, "Sam, you can't go much further. The atmosphere here is toxic to our lungs. The air is 78 percent carbon monoxide. You'll die in minutes. The TARDIS's air shield only extends so far. And," He added, glancing nervously at some brightly colored trees that looked like something from a Dr. Seuss Book , "I don't want to stay long. The natives are not fond of foreigners like us, and we'd be better off if we left without them noticing our arrival.

Sam let out a sigh. She wished that they could stay longer. Reaching down to pick a blue flower that looked like a bell, she figured that the Doctor would take her home once they were back in the TARDIS. Although she did not trust the man, she felt strangely comfortable with him. She knew he was not lying, that he was who he said he was, and that he was not going to do her any harm. Taking one last look around, she turned and walked back into the TARDIS with her head hanging and shoulders hunched forward. Shoving the blue doors open, she finally realized how much bigger it was on the inside. Pausing for a brief moment in the doorway, she took in the sights of the planet once more before going back into the strange space ship.

Moments later, the Doctor pranced back in, a giddy look of pure happiness lighting up his old face. It was so strange that a man so old could look so young. The whole alien thing was still beyond Sam's comprehension.

"I'm guessing you're taking me home now, aren't you?" She said, tugging at her sleeves. The bandages were making her arm itch. That was her least favorite part about self-harm. The itching. No one knew the secrets of her mind. How much she hated herself. How addicted to the cutting she was. Even at that very moment, right as she asked this strange man a question, she could hear a voice in the back of her head. _Cut. Cut. Cut._ Her demons were worse than anyone thought. Enough to make her try to take her own life to get away. It wasn't her first attempts either. She shook her head, trying to clear away these thoughts.

"Naturally." He said, back at the console. His hands worked quickly over the controls, keeping the time machine steady, for the most part. Every once in a while, the room would start to shake and he'd mumble under his breath at the TARDIS, quickly bringing her back under control. "Well," he said, glancing over at Sam to see her slightly perk up. "You could stay here with me and travel. I do quite enjoy company. What do you say, huh?" A small smile tugged at the corner of his lip. He wanted her to say she'd stay so badly. He was so lonely without someone to travel with. He wanted a friend again. Also, he wanted to get to know this girl. She had so many layers that it was impossible to see what she was like. He had spent an entire day with the blonde girl and yet he still knew almost nothing beyond her first name. _Samatha, Samantha, Samantha. You are just a remarkable person, aren't you? Why won't you open up and let me see what you're really like. I know you want to be happy, somewhere deep inside your head.. _He thought. The Doctor waited a moment for her answer, and when she did.'t say anything for a moment, she went back to piloting the TARDIS.

_Stay here and not have to go back to that Hell hole I call home?_ She thought. Sam almost screamed yes. The idea of not having to go back to her life where people judged her for who she was, was the most amazing idea she'd heard in a long time. She crossed her right leg over her left, pretending to think for a moment. When he Doctor went back to his work, she spoke very level headedly, "I think I would like that. Yes, I would like that quite a lot." She looked up at him from where she was sitting on the edge of the railing around the main room.

The Doctor almost jumped with joy. A smile spread quickly across his face, seeming to go from ear to ear. "Well miss Samantha, welcome to the TARDIS. I'm sure you'll enjoy your stay!" He flipped a lever down, and the TARDIS seemed to steady, almost as if it were drifting now. The Doctor stood up straight, turning quickly to face Sam. "I'll give you a quick tour of some main points you'll need to know! Allons-y!" He said, seeming a bit over excited as he walked swiftly toward the hall off the main room. Sam shook her head, getting to her feet and following the mad man down the hall.

As she caught up to the Doctor, he was pointing to the bathroom, "You already know where this is, as you used it to change. Your old clothes are in there still." He kept walking and took a right. The hall looked almost identical to the previous one, with a different set of doorways. Sam could tell it would be easy to get lost in this place, so she kept right with the Doctor.

Slowing, he turned to the first door on the left. "This will be your room." He said, opening the door and flinging it open wide. The room was small, with a bed and nightstand against the back wall that they were facing. A matching six drawer dresser with a mirror, stained dark like the rest of the furniture, sat on the left wall. "You'll find pajamas in the dresser, along with sweats, undergarments, and such items. In the closet," He motioned to the narrower door on the right wall, "Are all the clothes you'll need. You can rearrange and check everything out later." He said, turning out and walking straight across the hall. He shoved open the door and walked into a large bedroom.

"This is my room." The Doctor said, grinning. He was obviously delighted to be showing someone around. His room was dimly lighted, with a king sized bed placed directly in the center of the back wall. Sam glanced around at the room, marveling at the gorgeous furniture.

"This is all from 18th century England. It is mint condition and I keep it well polished. I was never a fan of the newer furniture. I like the old look." He said, walking forward and stroking the wood on an armchair that sat next to his bed. There was little it the room, especially for such a large room. A large Victorian rug was between the bed and the door, covering much of the rustic looking hardwood flooring. Two armchairs sat off to the left of the bed. On the right was a small night table with a lamp. A door on the left wall must have been the closet. "I like to keep it simple." He said, as if he read her mind. Looking up at him, the Doctor was smiling at her.

"I'm tired. Can I go to bed?" Sam asked the Doctor. He nodded, and she turned, heading back across the hall. When she had reached the door she let out a sigh and heard the Doctor yell goodnight before closing his own door. Sam walked into her new room and closed the door. Leaning back on it, she felt tears slowly fall from her eyes. This man, alien, whatever was so nice to her, and she was so rude to him. Why was she lie this? She asked herself. Silently crying, she walked to her bed, kicking off her shoes and curled up in a ball on the end of the soft, twin bed.

"Why am I such a failure…" She whispered to herself, taking a shaky breath in. Sitting up, she unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off, leaving just her tank top on. Sam looked down at her arms. The pink, red, and white lines that were scars covered her left arm from shoulder to wrist and her left from her elbow to wrist. Sniffing, she ran her left hand down over all the raised bumps until she got to the bandage. With a whimper she grabbed the edge and tore it off, trying to be silent so the Doctor across the hall didn't hear her. When the bandages were off, she looked at the three deep wounds that stretched across her wrist. Sniffing, she gingerly touched the one closest to her hand, feeling the rough stitches that the Doctor must have put in to hold the tender skin together. She sighed, lying flat on her back in the middle of the bed. Thoughts of cutting her arms ran through her head, never quieting. She'd get her hands on a blade soon enough. She'd love to see the Doctor try to stop her. It was an addiction that she could not stop. "I'm sorry…" She whispered to the Doctor, knowing he couldn't hear. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep, wondering what the next day would bring.

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**I will have the next chapter up soon. Please, please, review so I know what y'all like and don't like! Thanks for reading! 3**


	5. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER - You know the drill by now.**

**I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update. I've had some crazy stuff going on in my life, so I haven't had time to write. This chapter is a bit shorter, but I promise to update with a longer one soon. Please enjoy reading this as much as I loved writing it!**

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Chapter Four

Sam was yanked out of her deep sleep by a sudden sharp pain. Sitting up quickly, untangling herself from blankets as she did so, she reached out her arm and pulled the cord to turn on the bedside lamp. Warm yellow light quickly flooded the room and she looked down at where the pain was coming from.

Her stomach.

Sam realized she must not have eaten while she was unconscious and the Doctor was taking care of her, and with the overwhelming events that took place the day before, eating hadn't crossed her mind. Lightly tugging at her oversized t-shirt, Sam looked at her stomach. All she saw before herself was fat. Gross, disgusting rolls of fat. For a girl who stood at five feet and seven inches, 115 pounds would seem like a very thin weight to anyone else. Not to her. All she saw was fat. She hated it. _Maybe because I'm not at home where Mom will be making me eat, I can get away with not eating-_ Her thought was roughly inturupted by a loud knock at the door. Sam pulled the covers up to her neck, an action she had formed a habit for when she use to cut and didn't want the person coming in to see.

"BREAKFAST IN BED FOR THE WONDERFUL SAMANTHA!" The Doctor yelled, walking in backward to shov open the door and make room for the large trey he had in both his hands. He seemed to prance as he did a quick spin while walking to the end of the bed. He over dramatically set the shining, silver trey down at her feet. On the trey sat two plates, each with three pancakes, a slice of bacon, and scrambled eggs placed perfectly around a small cup of syrup. Two glasses of orange juice, which had a bit spilled around them from the dramatic turn, were on a napkin each. "I thought you'd like to have a nice breakfast before your first real day aboard the TARDIS. And well," He paused for a moment, tilting his head a bit, "I wanted to talk and get to know each other a bit better! We're gonna be stuck with each other for a while, so we may as well be comfortable together." Reaching out one slender arm, the Doctor grabbed the edge of a wooden chair that was sitting next to the dresser and pulled it under him to sit.

"Is this all mine?" Sam said, pointing to the trey. Her eyes widened, looking at the large mass of food that at her feet. So much for not eating. It looked like the Doctor liked food like a fat boy loves chocolate.

"Oh, no no no," The Time Lord replied, placing one plate on her lap, "only one is for you. The other plate is for me. I find breakfast to be a brilliant meal. So many possibilities that are all so good!" With a large grin on his face, he slid the trey and the other plate over in front of himself. Pulling two forks and napkins out of his pocket, he handed one of each to Sam, keeping the others. He was fully dressed, looking crisp and fresh. He licked his lips, picking up a bite of eggs with his fork.

"Theshe are weawy good." He said though his food. The strange man gestured for Sam to try hers. Sighing internally, she slowly took a little bite of the eggs. As she chewed the food, her stomach growled and the Doctor giggled quietly. "Bit hungry, are we?" He joked, "You haven't eaten in days. Time to get that belly full again. You could use some meat on those little bones of yours." Looking back at his food, he smiled to it, digging in again.

Within minutes, empty dishes sat back on the shining trey, which was now on the ground. The Doctor lay on his back at the end of the bed while Sam sat, her arms pulling her knees to her chest, at the top. Hands behind his head and staring at the ceiling, the Doctor asked, "Samantha, I know your first name, but you've never told me your last one. The Time Lord glanced over at the blonde girl who had been fairly silent the whole breakfast. Little did he know that she was thinking very dark thoughts while he was thinking very brightly.

"Brown." She answered. Sam had always disliked her last name. It was so dull. As she said her last name, the Doctor muttered it to himself, smiling. He thought it sounded great. A thought then crossed Sam's mind. "Hey Doctor, what's your real name? I need to call you something other than just 'Doctor'." She said, looking down at him. His expression seemed to get a bit darker than usual.

"It's just the Doctor. That's my name." He said, staring off at the ceiling again. This seemed to be a topic that he didn't like to be on, so Sam changed it.

"Well, I'm going to go get cleaned up. You can go do…whatever you usually do. I'll be done soon." She said, leaping up out of the bed and heading for the bathroom. The Doctor watched her go, then resumed just staring at the ceiling above him.

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Samantha emerged from the bathroom looking much better than the day before; her hair was all done, slowing around her, halfway down her back in loose curls. Eye liner and mascara made her down eyes pop and she was dressed in another button down, long sleeved shirt and mid-thigh jean shorts. She looked like any normal teenage girl.

Sam walked to the main control room and called out "Doctor? You here?" When she heard nothing, she turned to walk back to her room. A room was somewhere that felt safe and familiar, not like the alien looking main room. When she pushed open her door, she found that the Doctor had fallen asleep at the end of her bed. The 900 and something year old man almost looked like a child asleep in their father's coat. The Doctor was curled in a ball with the brown trench coat wrapped around. The poor guy must have still been completely worn out from the past few days. Sam was about to wake him, when something held her back. A thought. Turning, she walked from the room.

Within moments, the girl was in the control room of the TARDIS once again. Tilting her head slightly, she realized she didn't remember the walk here. Her thoughts had consumed her. Dark thoughts. Sam sat with her back on the steel rails that enclosed the main platform in the room. Taking her shoe off, Sam reached inside and removed the lining on the bottom. Under the lining, silver shone up at her, lit by the light. With a small smile, Sam grabbed one of the two blades hidden in a place no one would look. She held it up, a faint smile dancing on her face. How she had missed this.

She hadn't expected to leave her home that night, so she didn't plan a place to hide a blade. She didn't even have one on her. Being as desperate for one as she was, she had removed two of the five blades in her razor during her shower that morning. Cutting was an addiction. She could not just stop. The pain in her mind had to be released somehow. Without this output of emotion, she would be consumed. Many times she had tried to stop. She had gone just over two weeks without harming herself in any way, when it all suddenly came back. Since then, she had never gone for more than that amount of time without taking a razor to her skin. Her arms, from shoulder to wrist, were littered with pink, white, and red scars of all sizes. She already had scars, so why quit? It seemed to help her stay somewhat sane.

Taking a quick glance at the door, just to be sure she didn't see the Doctor coming; she took a deep breath, already preparing for the relief that came with the evil of self harm. Placing the new blade to the top of her forearm, she slowly dragged it across, gritting her teeth as she made a small cut. Breathing out, she was strangely pleased with herself. Placing the blade back in the same place, she drew it quickly this time, feeling it cut in deeper. Taking the blade across the same spot one last time, she was pleased to see that she had cut through to the second layer of skin, exposing the white flesh beneath. A tear ran down one cheek, slowly leaving a salty trail behind as it dripped off her chin. Although she was happy to have found a blade and be cutting again, she was still deeply unhappy, for this was what led to her cutting in the first place. Her problems were much more deeply rooted than just an addiction to harming herself. She hated herself more than she had ever hated anything. Refusing therapy and anti-depressants had been her decision, and probably not the best one. She had been convinced that if she kept it to herself, she would get better on her own. But as she sat on the cold metal floor of the TARDIS, it was apparent that she was wrong.

With a jolt, the Doctor woke from his sleep. _How could I have fallen asleep like this? I wonder if Samantha is all ready yet?_ The Time Lord stood slowly, reaching his arms above his head and stretching. Rolling his shoulders as he yawned, the Doctor listened for the sounds of someone getting ready in the bathroom down the hall. When he heard no sounds, he straightened his coat and tie and strolled out of the bedroom.

Walking down the hall, he looked in the empty bathroom. Flipping on the lights he looked around, seeing no sign of Sam anywhere inside. Glancing around, he was about to turn off the lights when something caught his eye. Something lying on the counter. Shoving the half closed door open, the man walked to the counter, picking up the item. It was the shaving razor he had in the shower for Samantha. Though, now it was different. Two of the blades were missing, and by the looks of it, they were removed by someone who knew what they were doing. "Oh no…" He whispered to himself, staring at the razor he held near his face. "Samantha, what have you done?" He set the razor back on the counter, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger, closing his eyes.

"Sam?" he said, walking out of the bathroom. Glancing toward the control room, he noticed the girl, sitting in the fetal position, crying with blood running down her arm. Panicking slightly, he ran as fast as he could toward her, calling her name. "Sam? SAM!"

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**Please make my day and review what you think so far and what I should add! I love getting ideas! Thank's for reading!**


	6. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything that is related to Doctor Who.**

**Sorry about how long it took to update. I've been busy with work and school registration because I just moved to a new state. **

**Writing this chapter stirred a lot in me. With Sam's struggle and explaining it to the Doctor, I hope to shed some light on what it feels like in the mind of a self-harmer. Many people get the wrong idea or think they do it for attention, but let me tell you, they DO NOT. I know how it feels, and hopefully this will help y'all understand it a bit more. I have really been enjoying writing this story. I am so thankful that y'all choose to read! Thank you all so much!**

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Chapter Five

"Samantha! " The Doctor yelled as she dropped down to his knees, grasping the girl's arm in his hands, pulling her right forearm out as she continued to cry, not moving from her original position on the floor. Looking down at her right arm, he saw a scene he hoped to never have to see again. The long sleeves were gone, exposing all her scars to the world. Pink lines ran from her elbow to her wrist, big and small. One large gash stretched across the middle of the underside of her arm. The white skin beneath the surface was exposed as the skin pulled away from itself, blood steadily seeping out from within. As the Time Lord stared at her arm, he felt a mix of emotions he had never felt before.

"Samantha, Samantha, Samantha…" He said, his eyes wide and his whole being in shock from just seeing the single cut across her right arm. He mentally prepared himself for the left, knowing it would be worse as she slid around in front of her, balancing on the balls of his feet, crouched down to her level. "Why did you do this?" He questioned, letting her right arm free to go back to hugging her knees. Reaching forward, he hesitated before taking her other arm in his hands. She resisted, pulling it back before he had gotten it more than an inch away, but realized there was no point and let it go limp.

Pulling her left arm toward himself and rotating it over, he gasped audibly. Three clean, straight cuts ran across the upper part of her forearm. Two looked like the one on her left, but the third and closest to her elbow was extremely deep. Examining the cut, he noticed the lumpy, yellow tinted fat that she had cut into. "Oh not again." She whispered silently to himself. But not quite quiet enough for Sam sniffled.

"I'm sorry." She choked out, looking up at him from behind her now messy hair. Mascara had left two black streaks down her face, remnants of the tears that had been falling. "I'm so so sorry." She said, beginning to cry again. Laying her head back into her knees, she pulled her arm back to herself, her body racked with sobs.

The pain of the girl in front of himself almost brought the Doctor to tears. He slid closer to the crying girl, sitting down next to her. "Shhh, Sam. It will be alright." He said, wrapping his left arm over her shoulders. He pulled her closer to himself slowly, and then put his right arm around her as well, pulling the young girl to his chest. She didn't try to pull away as he slowly rubbed her back, whispering softly to her, reassuring her that it would be alright. He put his cheek to her head, staring blankly at the wall, still shocked by the state he had found her in again. He knew he needed to get her bandaged and fixed up, but he couldn't make himself move yet. He had never dealt with someone like this girl before. She was something different. Something that proposed a challenge to him. But in the end, common sense won his brain over.

"Come on Samantha, come with me." He said, unwrapping his arms from around her and taking her hand, standing up with her hand gasping his tightly. When they were both standing, he once again put his arm around her shoulders protectively. He then led her off toward the infirmary.

The infirmary looked almost like a miniature hospital. The walls were a sterile white color, along with the beds, floor, ceiling, and almost any other furniture that was found in the large room. The room was a long, rectangular shape with the door at the end of one of the shorter walls. On the left wall, six beds, like the ones found in hospital rooms, were evenly spaced along half the length. The rest was filled by metal shelves holding all sorts of medical equipment, from Band-Aids to needles for shots. The right wall was lined with similar meal shelves along most the length as well. The room was very well organized, not a thing out of place. Well, there wouldn't have been if two people hadn't been inside disturbing the items on the shelves.

The Doctor shifted through the top shelf on a shelf across from the bed Sam sat on, holding towels to her arms. He stood on his tiptoes and felt around, looking for something in particular. Feeling something soft brush up against his hand, he smiled briefly to himself, grabbing the roll of bandages and pulling it down from the shelf. He walked swiftly back to Sam.

"Hold out your right arm." He said in a flat voice. He was still trying to figure out what emotions he was feeling. Everything was so jumbled in his head that by the time the Time Lord had the girl's arm in front of himself, it took him a moment to register that it was there. Shaking his head to clear it, he took her arm in his hands, placing the end of the roll of white bandage on the back of her arm, opposite of the gash. The Doctor then wrapped the bandage around three layers thick before biting the end, cutting it off and sticking it together to stay. It was self-sticking, so it just required the wrapper to press it down onto itself to seal it.

Within a few minutes, both of Sam's arms were clean and bandaged. Quickly, the Doctor tossed the half used roll back on the top shelf, hearing it hit and knock over a few other things on the shelf. He didn't care; organizing could wait, for now he had a very sad girl to deal with.

Sitting down on the bed next to Sam's, he leaned down, laying his head in his hands, rubbing his temples. The Doctor had never felt like this before. He didn't know what to do for once in his life. He was lost. "Sam..why?" He finally muttered, glancing up through his fingers at her. She was staring down at her feet, looking like she was about to say something. He needed her to talk, to explain. "Why did you do this again? Why would you ever think of taking a blade to your skin? Why? What led you to do this? Do you even think before you do this?!" He said, making exaggerated hand motions as he spoke. Realizing his last question was a bit insensitive, the Doctor began to apologize, but Sam stopped him by beginning to speak.

"I- just.." She started, wiping mascara from under her eyes and looking back up at him. "You don't understand. And you never will! You don't know what's going on in my mind. How I feel like I'm never good enough for anyone. How I'm just a fuck up in every way there is! Doing this-" She gestured to the stitches that were still in her wrist, "-is the only relief I get from the constant torment of my own mind. The pain inside builds, no matter what others do to try to help. It builds and builds until I have to do something to let it out or I'd go insane!" Sam stood up, pacing back in forth in front of a very surprised and concerned Doctor. He had his elbows on his knees, his chin in his palms as he looked up at her as she continued on. "It's an addiction. And just like any addiction, I can't help it sometimes. I need the relief. I have to have it." Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she struggled to keep her voice steady. "People try to help, but it never works. Threats to take things away, being there to talk, even saying that they will come over at any time of day or night doesn't help because when it comes to that time, when I am in that dark place, nothing crosses your mind except one word over and over again. _Cut. Cut. Cut._ It demands to be felt, heard, and then carried out."

The Doctor sat, stunned by what the girl had just spewed out in front of him. He watched as Sam sat back on the bed, trying to be strong as a tear ran down her cheek. She wanted to be tough, not let him see through her outer shell. But he felt for her. His heard stung when he thought of the amount of pain she must have been in. Standing up, he stepped across the aisle to sit next to her. He put his arm around her back and lightly rubbed it with his thumb.

"You know what you need?" He said, looking down at her as she looked up at him, her eyes showing curiosity.

"Hm?" She muttered very quietly. Samantha wanted more than anything to curl up in a ball and never move again, but this Doctor man wanted her to do things. He was persistent.

"Follow me." He said, the corners of his lip tugging up slightly, trying to pull a familiar wide grin to his face. He leapt up, straightening his trench coat, before briskly walking toward the door.

* * *

"Ah!" The Doctor exclaimed, breathing in a deep breath of fresh Earth air as she shoved the TARDIS doors open, carrying a large basket with him as he almost danced out the door. Sam followed him, a little more hesitantly. The first thing she noticed was that there was a breeze, not too strong, but not too light either. Glancing around, the place looked like her home. Green grass, blue ocean waves, but in the distance she noticed something unfamiliar. The buildings of the skyline on the horizon looked way more modern than what Earth had. There was no way they could be on Earth by the looks of it. Squinting slightly, she noticed that there were cars in the air, _flying_.

"Are we..?" She started, turning to face a grinning Doctor, with his hair and coat blowing out in front of him.

"In the future?" He finished for her, tossing the large basket down in the long, swaying grass a few yards from the TARDIS. "Yes. We're in New York! Well," He tilted his head, looking at noting is particular as he spoke. "New New York. Well, technically, it is the fifteenth New York, so that would be…New New New New New New... New New New New New New... New New New York." Sam let out a small laugh, pulling her jacket tighter and zipping it half way against the wind.

Reaching down and opening the basket, the Doctor dramatically revealed a classic red and white checkered picnic blanket. "Ah! What a brilliant day for a picnic!" He lay the blanket flat, standing on one end and placing the basket on the other against the wind. He gestured for Sam to come over and join him on the blanket.

Smiling a genuine smile for the first time in a long time, she sat on the end opposite from the Doctor. He slid the basket over in front of himself and reached inside. "What is this? A _bigger-on-the-inside_ basket, like that crazy box you got?" She joked, causing laughter from the pair.

"Oh no, this is just a 100 percent natural basket! No special technology, just a picnic carrier!" While they laughed and made a few more lame jokes about the basket, the Time Lord finished pulling two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips, and water bottles from the now empty basket. Pulling the plastic bag that enclosed his sandwich off, the Doctor took a large bite, making a sound of enjoyment as he swallowed. "Am I good or what?" Sam laughed as she bit into hers, not caring that she was consuming calories because she was having a good time.

"Doctor?" She said, her brow furrowed in wonder and concern.

"Yes?" He responded, looking up from his beautiful sandwich that he had already almost finished off.

"Do my parent's know I'm gone? Won't they be worried that I have been gone so long?" Sam took another bite, waiting for the Doctor to answer/

While taking a chip from the open bag of potato chips, he smiled slightly. "I have that taken care of. I left a note saying that you went to a friend's house for the day and that you would be back that night. I cleaned up your room, and called the friend to make sure that if your mom called them, they would say that you were there." As Sam opened her mouth to ask how he knew, he continued, answering the question. "In your note, that I took, it had a friend's name, Randy I believe, and his number. I used it to contact him. And remember, _time machine?_ I can take you back when you want to only a few hours after you left. No questions asked!"

Sam nodded, impressed by his skill in tying all the loose ends at her home. She and the Doctor continued with their small talk until they had finished lunch. The two packed the basket and walked back toward the TARDIS. The Doctor tossed the basket inside and shut the door, keeping Sam from going in. She looked at him with a questioning look.

Suddenly, a rush of air and the quiet whine of a motor filled the air, disrupting the peace. Looking up, shading her eyes from the sun, Sam saw a black car coming down for a landing very close to them. Glancing at the man next to her, she could see him smiling. As the sleek car came to rest in the grass, the Doctor smiled down at Sam. With the sound of air, the driver's side door opened up like a wing. A tall man stepped out, looking like a silhouette against the bright sun.

The Doctor gestured toward him saying, "Sam, I want you to meet my old friend."

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**Thank you for reading! Leave a review and tell me what you thought! Feel free to leave ideas as well. I love taking suggestions! I'll be updating soon!**


	7. UPDATE

**Sorry for another of these, but a few of you are worried I abandoned the story. I didn't.**

**I've been moving in still and starting school and work, so it will be a bit longer between updates. I appologize, but I will make them longer so it is worth the wait. **

**Thank you all for reading!**


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